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Who's in the Wrong? Man Refuses to Cook $120 Steak Well Done for Guest

wagyu steak

A steak enthusiast has shared the story of his dinner party gone wrong, after his refusal of cooking a $120 steak to well done led to a fight between friends when a guest complained about the rawness of the meat. He took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong, or if the guest was the one out of line, leaving opinions divided.

@Poecifer posted the story of his ‘extravagant Friendsgiving’, explaining that he takes his steak very seriously, buying A5 Wagyu beef for his 10 guests. He says the average steak for him takes 4-5 to prepare and cook writing:

"So, we did a bit of an extravagant Friendsgiving this year as I lucked into a strip loin of A5 Wagyu for a price that was unorthodox levels of cheap (My friend works for a high-end meat distributor and received it as a gift) it was a tight-knit event with only 10 of us there, mostly couples including my friend who only started dating a girl within the last couple months. We had an array of dishes but I was responsible for cooking the meat. Steak is about the closest thing I have to a religion and I take it very seriously.

The average steak for me takes about 4-5 hours to prepare and cook from the sous vide to the cast iron, to plate though sometimes I take as much as 3-4 months butter aging or dry aging my meats to be certain that they are perfect. These were genuine A5 so I only sous vide them after cutting them into two inch steaks. There was pretty perfectly enough for one each but I also made jerk chicken, mandarin duck breast, and a nice cut off cherry jalapeno salmon. I had quite the spread. I sous vide them to medium-rare to be sure the fat was well-rendered but informed them that if absolutely necessary, I'd bring them up to medium on request."

He then reveals that the guest, who is the new girlfriend of his long-time friend was mortified when she saw the colour pink when the steak was cut, even saying that they’ll get sick from it. He continues to write:

"Well, here comes the new girl to the group. She sees the first person cut into their steak and sees pink and she is just mortified. Immediately she acts him of eating raw meat and stresses that the steak should be, "Brown all the way through or else you'll get sick." I informed her that this wasn't the case and that these steaks were actually cooked to the ideal temperature for the cut."

After informing the guest it was the ideal temperature for that type of meat, the guest demanded he cook hers until it was brown all the way through. When he refused, it started a fight and the guest even tried to stick the steak in the microwave in which the host quickly grabbed the plate out of her hand. He writes:

"She immediately demanded that I cook hers till it was brown all the way through and I firmly said, "Not a chance." She proceeded to get angry and yell that it was her steak and she should have it how she liked. I told her that there were plenty of other meats to choose from as well as a plethora of side-dishes that she could have but her steak was not being made well-done in my house. She said, “F***ing a******." Then she got up and started to stick the steak in the microwave. I shot up and grabbed it out of her hand first at which point half of the steak fell onto the ground. My dogs quickly got to it to which I said, "Well, at least it went to someone who wouldn't s**t on a good steak." From there, there was definitely tension from that end of the table. They ate a little bit then hurriedly left.”

After the altercation, the host explains that the ordeal has caused his long-time friend and the girlfriend to block him on social media as well as the rest of the guests who attended the dinner. The unhappy guest even went to the lengths of asking her boyfriend to ask the host to pay $25 for dry cleaning her dress. He continues to explain:

"Since then, my long-time friend and his new girlfriend have blocked me on social media and my phone number. They've even gone so far as to block the rest of the people at the table and cut off all ties. Yesterday I received a PayPal invoice from my old friend for $25 that just said, "Pay for dry cleaning of her dress." I don't think anything actually spilled on her, I think it's just more drama but as of now I'm ignoring it and, unfortunately, probably washing my hands clean of an old friend. AITA here?”

The host has also added that the menu was sent weeks in advance and that if a guest wanted a steak cooked well done that he would’ve gone to the supermarket to buy a cheaper cut. He says:

"I should've stated that a menu was sent weeks in advance with the express point that if someone wanted their steak cooked to a higher temperature I'd really go to the grocery store and get some USDA Prime for them."

The menu states specifically, "These steaks will be prepared medium-rare (warm pink center) at two inches thick. At request, I will cook the steaks to medium but due to the quality of the meat, they will not be prepared to a higher temperature. If you would like your steak cooked beyond this temperature, please reach out and I will get you a prime cut of steak to prepare especially for you. Please like this comment to confirm that this is okay."

"One person reached out, I got him a 60 day dry aged prime strip. I cooked it medium-well as per his request. He loved it.

The story divided the internet’s opinion, gaining over 5K comments on Reddit at the time of writing.

Some people sided with the host, backing him up saying wagyu needs to be cooked in a certain way writing, "This has come up before because Redditors don't know what wagyu looks like or how to cook it. Google Wagyu and you'll see that it is raised to be rippled with fat. If you overcook it all that fat will drain out of it and you'll be left with a gnarled and much shrunken piece of meat. Serving it that way is ruining it and what it exists for. The cook is absolutely correct to suggest that someone who wants it that way should not have wagyu at all, any more than you should serve well-done sushi or pasta cooked to the mushiness of Spaghetti-Os. It's not pretentiousness, it's competence.”

Others were on the guest's side, however, saying she should be able to eat her food how she wants. They wrote, “… people can eat food prepared how they want. Who is he to dictate how this girl eats her steak?” Another replied, "Exactly, it's literally her taste. Not mine, or most everybody else's, hers. Like I don't get it, but you're not hurting anything. She already had it, he had to unsuccessfully take it back from her - ruining it completely in the process.”

A lot of other commenters weren’t on either side, expressing that both the host and guests were in the wrong.

"She was a terrible guest and you were an obnoxious host. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t even eat meat above a medium rare temp, but when you choose to cook for someone, you don’t get to dictate how they eat it. You’re gifting them a dish and they can do how they will with it in the manner they enjoy it. The fact you’d rather have a dog eat the meat than the guest is pretty telling how inconsiderate and controlling of a host you are.”

"This guests sounds like she was rather unpleasant and rude with her requests, but OP sounds very pretentious. As long as OP got to enjoy his perfect steak, as did his friends who could appreciate it, why did he care how she chose to enjoy hers? It was her steak at that point, given to her. If she wanted to cook it to cardboard, and slather it in A1 - who cares. No one else would be eating it, and it was already on her plate. She also clearly stated she wasnt comfortable eating a pink steak, so leave her be (even if you secretly thought she was uncultured swine.) OP went WAY too far by snatching her steak off of her plate (who would even be eating that steak at that point). He then ended up throwing the steak to the floor and letting his dogs eat it.

"OP - get over yourself. She was a rude guest, but you were a horrible host who ruined your own party by being a controlling AH.

When replying to how he handled the situation, he does admit he reacted poorly saying, "I'm not saying I was in the right. I saw her shoving that steak in the microwave and I reacted, albeit poorly."

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